Choosing Self-sabotage

I truly believe that when you are ready to listen, things present themselves that speak to you. Like accidentally finding the perfect blog post or tweet that it exactly what you needed to read. this has happened to me twice in the last week.

Firstly, I came across a Michelle Bridges 12wbt video this evening about self-sabotage. It started me thinking about the journey I am taking, and the difficulties I am having. Lately I have been putting only fifty percent effort into my health and running. I have been tired and only fitting in one or two exercise sessions per week and eating well during the day and struggling in the evenings. My intentions have been in the right place, but my actions are telling a different story.

I am making excuses. I am sabotaging my success.

Secondly, I am a regular follower of Gisele Gambi's Personal Coaching Facebook page. Her words of wisdom always resonate with me. She is an insightful and spiritual person and she has the ability to get to the deep core of an issue with such ease and love.

Gisele talks a lot about choice, and being aware of what you are choosing. When things do not go to plan, have you actually been choosing what you thought you were choosing, or was it something else entirely? While on one level I believe that I want to run and have my running goals planned out, I do not believe I am choosing to succeed in my running.

Whenever I attempt to work my way towards a goal, something always happens to ensure that I almost don't make it. Whatever the goal is, or was, I can find struggle, crisis after crisis, or simply getting behind in my work or plan, finding small reasons to halt my progress until it is almost too late.

I am choosing to struggle. I am choosing to fail. All my choices, whether food or exercise related are largely aimed at giving me an excuse not to be successful. I ate too much last night so there is no point going for a run.I know what I should do, I know what I wan tot do, so why don't I do it?

Having a honest and hard look at myself, I came to the conclusion that I don't believe that I can succeed.

And when you don't believe that you can, you go a long way to ensure that you won't.

The video and the posts I have read this week have given me an insight into what I have been doing. Maybe I was just ready to listen, but I now know that I need to re-examine my beliefs about myself and get them in line with my goals. I don't yet know how, but I know a shift is needed.